Straight from the head

So, I just had a string of random thoughts. I know I already posted for today, but I left some of my loyal readers without any juicy soap stories the past couple days. SO here you go:

I'm here in my kitchen with Alligator Dog. And he is being so cute and behaving so well. I know many of my reader friends are concerned about AD being in my house and how I'm doing with him. I thought, "No one knows what it's like when it's just us!"

Then that made me think of Beautiful Girls -
"No one knows what it's like when it's just the two of us, you know?
"Well that's fair, so tell us, how is it?"
"Lately, it's not so good."

Then I'm paroosing around facebook and see that Jillian has already posted pictures of our Christmas Day activities. As I'm staring at the pictures, thinking about my day, I realize...I can't imagine my life without these people anymore. Wow. That's quite a revelation.

Then AD returns to his beastly ways and I have to pay attention to him again.

Merry Merry!!

“And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”

Ever wonder why your parents seemed to be a little more sleepy than usual on Christmas morning? It's because they were up until one o'clock in the morning assembling the stupid toys you begged for all year long.

Last night I broke a sweat setting up the beautiful princess castle I knew my daughter would love the minute she saw it. I was contorted into gymnastic positions that should be reserved for another, very different midnight activity. All the while I was keeping an eye on the stairs, positive I would see her standing at the top of them any moment. When the pink beauty was erected (the castle, that is) I moved on to meticulously setting up miniature animals with giant bobbling heads at a picnic inside. I never remember my butt getting stuck in the door of my old princess castle when I was a kid...

Next I had to eat about a dozen cookies that were set out for Santa. And, no I couldn't just throw them out, what would the kids in China think of me??

Stuff the stockings, setup the scooter, helmet, elbow pads, knee pads...don't forget to take a picture of the blessed room.

All said and done, I was pretty pleased with the presentation of the final product. And it was all worth it, to be woken up at four thirty in the morning, being asked if Santa came yet.

"No, not yet....go back to sleep."

Pushing Forward

Day Three!

I had a wonderful night. Filled with people I didn't know I liked so much. This was probably at least the fifth time that I have seen many of them. But last night was different. I felt so welcomed and so comfortable. I had open and honest conversations about my life, where I'm at and where I want to go. At one point John came up to me and said how glad he was that I was there. He made a completely profound (although drunken) statement about Christmas time and how important it was that family and friends were all around. And I felt like I was a part of that. It was very comforting.

I caught a glimpse of their world, and how my man fits into it. How revered he is as a person and a musician. All I remember is the smiles on all their faces all night long. They are burned on my mind. And even now, 15 hours later, they still make me smile.

Apparently, all I need is to not have six beers in me...

I was desperately trying to remember my old creative writing pen name last night when I hastily started my blog. All I could remember was Oscar Neon, the name of the guy that sat next to me. (His real name was Rick and I always thought he didn't look like a Rick) For some reason all I could think of was Haelie Blankenship. I knew that wasn't right... HAELIE EJYPT. Lord I just sat down and said it. Must have been the beers.

So I slept HORRIBLY last night. Maybe it was the six beers, maybe it was the fact that I woke up by myself on the couch at one in the morning. Maybe it was the anxiety of helping empty out the old house today. Maybe it was the overwhelming sense of guilt for not being more involved in my friends' new life. Maybe it was the lingering smell of poo in the house. Well, I could give you about five more maybe's, but I sense this might get old for you.

Well, maybe I don't care about you, the reader. I mean, I care about YOU, but maybe I don't care about what you think of this whole blog thing. Maybe that's what I'm really upset about.

I will often come up with these grand ideas in my head, and think, "Wouldn't it be cool to....." and then it never leaves my head. I once had a grand idea to coordinate a big surprise party for my mom's 50th birthday party. And it actually happened! It left my mind and became a reality. It was seven months of planning and worrying and preparing, and it was the best 24 hours ever.

So I'm starting to think; I should let more of these grand ideas leak out of the fantasy world that is my mind and give them the opportunity to spring to life. I always wanted to write....something....ANYTHING. I think I used to be pretty good at it. Somewhere along the line, I lost touch with that part of myself.

Now that I actually jumped off the high dive and STARTED a blog and actually EMAILED people that I care about to NOTIFY them.....AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

WTF was I thinking??

No backing out now...

Hello

So,

I have decided to start a blog. It was surprisingly easy to setup so I am a bit unprepared. Lately I have felt very separated from my life. The world around me, the people I care about, every single solitary moment I have....

SO

Here is my grand idea. I'm thinking that if I start to set out some random thoughts, ideas, etc...I have...perhaps it will help me. In some way.

PS - I hate my ex. For no good reason really. Except maybe he's an ass. That's all

Ok, anyway - Back to what I was thinking. I have felt so disconnected lately. I'm coming up on my twenty ninth birthday. The last of my twenties. Maybe insignificant, maybe not. But whatever it is....it's something.

So this is my lame attempt. To reconnect. To myself, to the people around me, to my life in general.

Let see how it goes, shall we?